Things I Learned This Weekend:

From the VMA’s, I learned that you don’t need a great body, talent, vocal chords, or clothes to open an awards show- you don’t even need to be sober. And, if you feel tired or choose to stop singing and dancing altogether, having backup dancers surrounding you provides the perfect shelter.

I also learned that Justin Timberlake does not understand how important shows like Super Sweet 16 and Date My Mom really are to America’s youth- where else will we find positive influences and role models in the media? Oprah doesn’t drive a Range Rover! Oh and apparently, you can’t be arrested for being a “Quadruple Threat”, but you can be for over-salting food.

Elsewhere, I learned that Britney’s comeback could have gone worse- She could have been Ricky Williams. Also, it takes more than $450 billion and six years to catch a diabetic who walks with both a cane and a dialysis machine- in the desert. And apparently, the next iPod will come with more legroom and extra cup holders…will there be a CD Player??

And finally, a look at what your presidential candidates were up to this weekend:

“On the sixth anniversary, I'll think about it more, but there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about it three or four times a day”

-Rudy Giuliani, speaking to reporter’s at Houston’s Buffalo Grille about the anniversary of 9/11.

I have a question- are these thoughts measured in minutes, or seconds?

And that is how I spent my weekend.